It wouldn't be unfair to say that in this last weekend's competitions at the New Hampshire Highland Games, I played better than I ever have in front of a judge - on both instruments. And the results were a serious let-down.

On the pipes, I took 1st in the 6/8 march (YAY ME!), and 5th in the 2/4 march. I thought I might have done better in the 2/4, but it's still a respectable showing. I didn't place in the slow air, and the only problem the judge had with my execution was that on some notes I wasn't keeping perfect time. Of course, I had meant to play it that way. It's called "playing rubato", and the notes I held beyond their time were the notes indicated were the very ones the composer, J. Scott Skinner, marked with fermatas on his original score for the tune. Oh well. It was my instructor's idea to play rubato, and I agree that it sounds better that way. On the piobaireachd, the judge said only nice things about my playing, but I didn't place. His only complaint was the pitch of my chanter (which all the other judges shared). Here we go again.

The fiddle contest was a disaster. I don't know what the judge was thinking, or what criteria he was using for the judging, but it was as if I was auditing a class instead of taking it for credit - no matter how well I did, I wasn't going to place.

The first to play was a young man who seemed just out of Novice. He played like I might have in the summer of '02 (if that well). Then were some girls who gave competent, if unspirited and often undynamic, performances. Lindsay Turner's performance was the best, if a bit subdued, and her march wasn't, well, marchable. One girl, a former Junior National champion, played very well, but was having major intonation problems (largely with her A-string not staying in tune), so I knew she was out of the running.

My performance was outstanding, easily my best contest performance to date. I hit all the highs and lows, I put in a lot of emotion and dynamic range; moreover, I had almost none of the "nervous bouncy bow" that has plagued me in other contests. I had a slight flub just at the end, but that was about it. When I finished playing my MSR set, the applause went on and on, much longer than for any other contestant. I was clearly the crowd favorite.

There was a runoff between Lindsay and another girl, meaning there was a tie, which I thought was for 1st and 2nd (and turned out to be 2nd and 3rd). Then the judge started to announce the results. The young man who played as if he were fresh out of Novice placed 5th out of 7, to everyone's surprise. Lindsay Turner only placed 2nd out of 7 (when I think she should have won). After Lindsay's placing was announced, all eyes turned to me, including that of someone who judged me at a previous contest. My mouth gaped - I didn't feel that my performance, though awesome, had beat Lindsay's. And it hadn't. 1st prize went to a girl who played competently, but with no spirit or spark, no dynamics, and nothing to make her stand out. Everyone was shocked. The other former judge said, "Congratulations on an excellent performance" - with a look in her eyes that silently said "You should have placed".

I was shut out completely. I ranked behind the Novice. That wasn't merely bad judging, that was a slap in the face. I am at a loss to understand what happened. The judge's comments were all very complimentary, except for mentioning my one or two rough spots, and saying my march needed to be a little bit bolder (which would have cost me dynamic range). So I'm not going to change the way I play. I gave a top-notch performance, and it seemed like everyone knew it. The former Junior National champion approached me later and agreed.

Two more contests to go this year. I've qualified for next year's Nationals on fiddle back at GMHG, but unless I clean up at Anne Arundel and Richmond, it doesn't look like I'm going to have much of a shot of being upgraded to Grade III on pipes this year. Pity, I was so close. But I need to be placing in all my events, not just half of them.

Addendum: It seems that what cost me was the reel, Lady Mary Hay's Scotch Measure. The judge consistently rated my "style/interpretation" about 33/40 for all my tunes but the reel, which he gave only 23/40. This is odd, because the comments in the box were complimentary, and offer no explanation for the low score. What was it about the interpretation of the reel that he didn't like? Didn't he like the semi-baroque interpretation (which, considering that it's a Nathaniel Gow tune, is appropriate), or did he have his own ideas about how that interpretation should go? I suppose I'll never know...